Shared dinner...

I have been invited to dinners many times and some of those experiences were very unique compared to my family's way of eating dinner. There were a couple of  times when my elementary/middle school friends invited me and my family to eat dinner at their house for some certain holidays or celebrations. A few of my friends were White American boys, but I didn't mind having dinner with them. I was thrilled to join in their conversations. However, this was not so much the case for my parents. Although they could speak English fluently, they found conversing with other White parents to be a hard task.

As for me, I naturally mingled in with my friends. We were really close at school and we could relate to each other more since we shared similar experiences. However, I was a little surprised by the strict order in which food is served, a rule that opposed our way of laying out all the food at once. I enjoy any kinds of food, so American food is definitely one of my dish choices along with the more common Chinese food. During the meal, I felt somewhat at ease but felt so of bad for my awkward parents. My parents are similar to Gogol's parents in that they rarely talk about trivial stuff at the diner table even if there were some interesting news.

Meaning behind my name

Since I am Chinese, I obviously had a Chinese name at some point of my life. My Chinese name is Yuchen. Since I was born on the year of the dragon, my parents named me water dragon. They thought that water will nourish a dragon and thus my name is formed. The interesting thing is that Chinese women don't adopt their husbands' last name when they get marriage, instead they keep their own last name. However due to coincidence, both of my parents have "Wang" as their last name, so there  is no surprise that I got that last name. When we migrated to America, I changed my name to James because my parents felt like the name fits me well. Sometimes at home, my parents still call me by the name "Yuchen" but anywhere else I was called "James".

I think both my Chinese and American name fit me well because they successfully portrayed my personality just by a few simple letters. However my Chinese name had held me back a few times in my life, especially when we came to America. The name seemed so different from everyone's name so I was reluctant at first to tell people my Chinese name and kept it a secret. Now, I feel totally secure when people tease me about my name because I know it doesn't really matter anymore. The name "James" seemed to boost my confidence when talking to people because it is a more common name and doesn't feel out of tune with the other names.

Gogol finds his name bothering because he also thinks that his name prevented him from making a good first impression. He feels like the name is out of place and is therefore different from every other name. He believes his Indian name to be a hindrance on his road to becoming an American.

Ethnics and cultural backgrounds

To summarize my family's ethnics, we are Chinese immigrants. Before I came to the U.S, I obviously felt more closely tied to China rather than this foreign country. However, now I look at myself as a somewhat proud American as well as a part of the Chinese culture. I feel like my family's culture is mingled together by both Chinese and American ethnics. All of my ancestors are from China as far as I know. However, I gradually found myself more at home in the U.S rather than China because the influence of the American culture had greater impact on my family and me.

I think that who I am and how I identify myself are two different things in my life. I am Chinese and hold a Chinese passport but somehow identify myself as a American. I feel like I am synthesized into the growing American culture and begin to see myself differently culture wise. I believe that "heritage" and "tradition" is something that is passed on from generation to generation with the same ethnic background present throughout. In  general, My parents and grandparents display some different values from me. My parents still consider themselves as Chinese, although they try to assimilate American culture. Even more can be said for my grandparents because they believe themselves to be proud Chinese citizens supporting the government. I don't think their ethnic value affected my life all that much because I want to learn from both cultures.