My American Dream

Without a doubt, an American youth has his or her unique belief about the meaning of the American Dream. As an English student, I explore my own version of the American Dream as I read literature, write analytical essays, and discuss meaningful ideas with others. In a way, my American Dream developed partially as a result of the literature and works we read this year about the business world and the search for monetary success. Ranging from Death of a Salesman to The Great Gatsby, these works, along with my analytical essays, enable me to have a more defined American Dream based on the search for concrete success. However, other works such as The Scarlet Letter and “To My Dear and Loving Husband” influence me in a different way because they shine light on qualities other than monetary success. With both categories of influence in my pocket, I am ready to embark on my journey to seek my American Dream, which is trying my best to succeed concretely as well as cherish intangible qualities such as happiness and positive relationships.

My journey to seek my own American Dream can be seen as a journey in the vast and mysterious sea, where scuba divers roam. I imagine myself to be a scuba diver who is just beginning his deep sea exploration. Throughout my year as an English student, I already immersed myself in the water and realized that there is nothing to be discovered on the surface of the calm sea. I discovered that the most astonishing and breathtaking sceneries must lie in the deep sea, where only a handful of divers can reach. Thus, my yen for these sceneries sets up the foundation for my American Dream—the search for tangible success. In a relevant way, my application process of the High School Entrepreneurship Program at UC Berkeley served as a representation of my search for the deep sea sceneries. However, it occurs to me that succeeding concretely and touching the radiant coral reefs take more than individual achievements. In fact, it would be almost impossible to reach my goals without my diving partners’ aids and encouragements. In this respect, my parents, friends, and other wonderful individuals are my diving partners on my journey to reach the American Dream. Even something as small as a special birthday present from my parents goes a long way to propel my journey forward. As a novice scuba diver, I seek to improve my diving skill as I set out to explore the sceneries as well as the fruitful meanings of my American Dream.

Shared dinner...

I have been invited to dinners many times and some of those experiences were very unique compared to my family's way of eating dinner. There were a couple of  times when my elementary/middle school friends invited me and my family to eat dinner at their house for some certain holidays or celebrations. A few of my friends were White American boys, but I didn't mind having dinner with them. I was thrilled to join in their conversations. However, this was not so much the case for my parents. Although they could speak English fluently, they found conversing with other White parents to be a hard task.

As for me, I naturally mingled in with my friends. We were really close at school and we could relate to each other more since we shared similar experiences. However, I was a little surprised by the strict order in which food is served, a rule that opposed our way of laying out all the food at once. I enjoy any kinds of food, so American food is definitely one of my dish choices along with the more common Chinese food. During the meal, I felt somewhat at ease but felt so of bad for my awkward parents. My parents are similar to Gogol's parents in that they rarely talk about trivial stuff at the diner table even if there were some interesting news.

Meaning behind my name

Since I am Chinese, I obviously had a Chinese name at some point of my life. My Chinese name is Yuchen. Since I was born on the year of the dragon, my parents named me water dragon. They thought that water will nourish a dragon and thus my name is formed. The interesting thing is that Chinese women don't adopt their husbands' last name when they get marriage, instead they keep their own last name. However due to coincidence, both of my parents have "Wang" as their last name, so there  is no surprise that I got that last name. When we migrated to America, I changed my name to James because my parents felt like the name fits me well. Sometimes at home, my parents still call me by the name "Yuchen" but anywhere else I was called "James".

I think both my Chinese and American name fit me well because they successfully portrayed my personality just by a few simple letters. However my Chinese name had held me back a few times in my life, especially when we came to America. The name seemed so different from everyone's name so I was reluctant at first to tell people my Chinese name and kept it a secret. Now, I feel totally secure when people tease me about my name because I know it doesn't really matter anymore. The name "James" seemed to boost my confidence when talking to people because it is a more common name and doesn't feel out of tune with the other names.

Gogol finds his name bothering because he also thinks that his name prevented him from making a good first impression. He feels like the name is out of place and is therefore different from every other name. He believes his Indian name to be a hindrance on his road to becoming an American.

Ethnics and cultural backgrounds

To summarize my family's ethnics, we are Chinese immigrants. Before I came to the U.S, I obviously felt more closely tied to China rather than this foreign country. However, now I look at myself as a somewhat proud American as well as a part of the Chinese culture. I feel like my family's culture is mingled together by both Chinese and American ethnics. All of my ancestors are from China as far as I know. However, I gradually found myself more at home in the U.S rather than China because the influence of the American culture had greater impact on my family and me.

I think that who I am and how I identify myself are two different things in my life. I am Chinese and hold a Chinese passport but somehow identify myself as a American. I feel like I am synthesized into the growing American culture and begin to see myself differently culture wise. I believe that "heritage" and "tradition" is something that is passed on from generation to generation with the same ethnic background present throughout. In  general, My parents and grandparents display some different values from me. My parents still consider themselves as Chinese, although they try to assimilate American culture. Even more can be said for my grandparents because they believe themselves to be proud Chinese citizens supporting the government. I don't think their ethnic value affected my life all that much because I want to learn from both cultures.

Rational vs Irrational thoughts

Personally, I think a successfully life is lead by mostly irrational thoughts and behaviors rather than rational thoughts because we as human beings, are subject to senseless actions without mental clarity. We always try to look for new things and improve the present condition. This crave for advancement and evolution drives us to irrational thoughts and maybe even an endless insanity for improvement. We are always trying to overthrow existing rules and making new ones in which we may break again. Even if there exists some rational thoughts in oneself, these thoughts are ultimately overcame by irrational actions. The society is always on the edge of evolving and trying something new, which is why there are mostly irrational elements in people's life.

In my life, I have had many irrational thoughts in which I acted against my self-interest. An example is when I decided to jump off the shallow area of the pool even thought I knew I might injury myself by doing so. In this attempt, I ignored the "no diving" sign and even went against my own self-interest. I think the reason for this action was because I wanted to try something "new" and therefore chose to ignore the rule by putting my safety at risk. To think about it, diving into the shallow area was really a dumb and irrational action.

Contradictions In Life

Contradiction is defined as a paradoxic belief or emotion. People are almost always bonded to have contradictions within their own lives because contradictions are hard to avoid and always show up in conversations.  It is also hard sometimes to realize your own contradictions because you are just so used to applying it.

There are certainly many contradictions in my life, one of them exists as the paradox between old and new shoes. I always try to buy new stylish shoes every few month or so, but I also feel the need to wear out my existing ones first. The pro for the first option is the simple coolness and assurance of getting a new pair of fashionable shoes. The pro for the second option is that a pair of shoes can be expensive sometimes, especially at fashion stores. This contradiction sometimes lead me to a mental struggle between the two options and often times ultimately questioning the consequences of each. At first, buying new shoes often seemed like an attractive choice, but gradually the second option appealed to me more simply because it is not really necessary to buy shoes that often. I did not really beat myself up in this contradiction, but simply realized the better choice and changed my shopping behavior accordingly.

Therapy advices

As many of you may already know, I am a therapist who strive to give the best advices to my patients in need. This morning, two obnoxious couple came into my office and asked for my advice on their potentially hazardous marriage. The husband, calling himself Petruchio, explained the situation to me. He told me that he and his wife Kate are having trouble agreeing with each other because they had spent so much time arguing. The husband wanted the wife to be obedient and restrained from talking, but the wife argues back, saying that she has the right to do whatever she wants. Seeing this situation, I proceed to my job and advised them thoroughly.

I held a long therapist session with the two, and surprisingly they didn't seem annoyed. First, i started the session off by asking the couple some questions regarding their marriage. For example, I asked, "what are the main reasons that resulted in your arguments?", "How often were the fights?", and "Have you two thought of possible ways to fix your problems?". Their responses were simple and straight to the point. The main cause for their argument was the want for control between both parties, which means that both Petruchio and Kate wanted to dominate the conversation. Apparently, the couple fought every time when there are some controversies between their ideas. From what I have heard, the husband tried solving the problem by starving the wife and forcing to stay awake all night, and somehow this strategy worked effectively.

After interpreting the marriage situation, I came up with advices and future goals for Petruchio and Kate. I suggested to them that in order to have a peaceful time together, they should both give in to each other instead of always going at each other. Since I have heard that Kate is a shrewish wife, my advice for Petruchio is to ignore her whenever she starts to argue. This way, the husband won't need to participate in the argument and the wife will eventually step back. Another advice I gave is maybe do something they both liked, maybe like going to parties or visiting family members. there is really no need to contradict each other all the time when the couple shares similar ideas and opinions on things. In addition, there were some future goals, both short and long term, that I addressed to them. One short term goal for the couple is for them to try get along with each other with less arguments. The couple should also support each other, instead of always finding errors and mistakes in the other person. One long term goal for Petruchio and Kate to have is living a successful and happy life with positive memories instead of miserable ones.